None of them involve calling the school to fix their problems.
Research has linked overparenting to a wide range of negative outcomes, including low self-efficacy, depression, decreased school engagement and poor academic adjustment. Worst of all, acting as a go-between and swooping in to solve every minor problem can signal to young people that their parents think they’re incompetent and incapable of self-advocacy.
Though 61 percent of American adults with children ages 18-29 say parents are doing too much for their young adult offspring, just 28 percent say they themselves are doing too much. It’s hard for them to see how their own “helping” behaviors are harming their children.
“I hear from dads as frequently as I hear from moms. The fathers who contact my office have a tendency to infantilize their daughters and try to enforce their own “solutions.” When a student isn’t able to register for a class because it’s full, for example, her exasperated father might call to inform me that the administration needs to open more sections of the course so there will be an open seat for his child. And when I explain that no one is available to teach an additional section, the common response from dads is, “Well, then you need to hire more instructors.”
“Moms usually take a more collaborative approach. In this same situation, a mother usually inquires about how similar issues have been handled in the past. When I respond that most students simply register for the class the next time it’s offered, she will typically implore me to do everything in my power to facilitate a one-time exception and ask what she can do to help me make a spot available for her daughter.”
For the original article click here: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/04/opinion/college-helicopter-parenting.html
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